Tuesday, March 4, 2008

Life, Death and Inspections….

I know it has been an extremely long time since my last entry but so much has happened. Please bear with me because I may jump around here and there so the series of events won’t be in chronological order but you’ll still be able to read what has happened in the past two weeks.

I guess I should begin with the hardest thing to deal with this week which was the loss of life of a one year old baby girl. She arrived to us after being sick for a while with pneumonia, she aspirated (Milk went into the lung instead of the stomach) and stopped breathing. The father presented her to American soldiers and they flew her from her home town to us. When she arrived to us she was extremely ill. We worked on her for hours trying to get lines into her to hydrate her but to no avail. We didn’t eat lunch or take breaks that day to be constantly by her side. I left my shift that night with heaviness in the pit of my stomach knowing that she would not make it through the night. I came in the next morning and found out that she was taken to CT for a head scan that evening where they found out she was brain dead. Life support was withdrawn and within a half hour she passed. My heart broke seeing such a beautiful baby’s life wither into nothing but I knew coming here that things happen and I just have to keep going.

A day later we had a patient, whom I thought previously, was not going to make it, wake up and pull his own breathing tube out. He gave us quite the scare with a series of events but in the end I guess he knew what was best for him. He was quite the character, laughing and talking even though we didn’t understand a word he was saying. One morning, he wanted to get from the chair to the bed and asked for assistance. I helped him with this transition and after settling in he told me, through a translator that he appreciated my help and that may God bless me with many sons. I had to laugh. When he finally left our ICU he literally had his hands in the air yelling,”WOO HOO!” That day put a smile on my face. Unfortunately that smile didn’t last long.

We’ve had many traumas come in since that patient. The traumas all ranged from Afghan nationals to American soldiers. Some died and some lived. The most grotesque of all the traumas I took part in, was an Afghan who got into a motor vehicle accident and got scalped. I reported to the ER and because this gentleman was not intubated, I really had no job but to help out with whatever they needed assistance with. My job was to hold pressure on this guys scalp against his skull to prevent further bleeding. There was blood EVERYWHERE! I have pictures that were taken from bystanders but I am afraid it may be too much for you so if you wish to see them e-mail me privately.

This finally brings us to this week, it’s only Tuesday but so much has gone on that it seems as if it is 7 days instead of 3 days. I came into work and as you all know from newspapers, some American soldiers got injured in a bombing close by. I don’t think I can legally get into details on the whole situation but I will say that some passed away and those that survived are now somewhere in route back home. I also had one last trauma come in and unfortunately it was another baby. This time, it was an 8 month old boy with severe lower extremity burns. The parents claim that hot water was splashed on his legs but the burns revealed that the story told to us by the guardians is not the true story. This baby had severe burns beginning on his bottom all the way down to his feet. The guardians were informed that this child needed to go to surgery immediately or he would get septic (infection) and die. They unfortunately, to my dismay, refused the surgery (which is free to them) and decided they just wanted to go home. There is no doubt in my mind that this poor baby, who also had several other infections ranging from ears to lungs, will not survive the month. We were all, again, heartbroken. One of our Docs even cried because of the situation and how heart breaking our world can be in countries such as this one. Again, life goes on and we do our best but we can’t force our help to people that are unwilling to accept it, no matter how badly we want it.

FINALLY, the weekends with a harsh infection control inspection. Quite frankly I feel that an inspection, such as this one, is ridiculous in a desert environment no matter how “state of the art” the hospital. We have a fairly new hospital and it has quite a few of the amenities that US hospitals have BUT we still have limited resources and supplies. Dirt/dust is everywhere just from outside conditions. Supplies are hard to acquire so we can’t constantly change things for the hell of it on a daily basis on the same patient and we sure as hell don’t have the housekeeping personnel that is offered in the US. Crazy as it may seem, they went through with the inspection and we find out at the end of the week how well, or badly, we did. Because of this inspection and all the traumas (I didn’t write about all of them for lack of time and energy) everyone was in rare form. EVERYONE was in a bad mood, snapping at each other and trying to get things done. As a result of all the stress, I had an argument with a physician about my priorities as an RT, getting ready for the traumas and his priorities of the upcoming inspection and passing it for his area.

It was a stressful two weeks… Hopefully the upcoming days will brings happier times and less sadness and stress. The inspection is over, but the traumas will continue to come. Until my next entry I wish you all good night, I love you guys and hope to see you soon.

Sandy

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Saturday, February 23, 2008

February 23, 2008

Hello friends and Family,

Today I received an e-mail from some very close friends of our back in Colorado. The words were so pretty and inspiring I felt I had to share…

Hi Sandy!

It seems that Life
Could be compared to a giant jigsaw puzzle
With each person like each piece
Having a place where they fit perfectly
Yet so many in there need to belong
Grab the first place they come to
Then try to make it fit!
Hang in there Sandy! We are thinking of you!

Rob

It’s true! It seems that I have been here officially a month tomorrow and as I told them in a reply e-mail, I have found my clique. We’re kinda of an odd group because of the back grounds and ages. The one is the young Philly girl whos sarcasm reminds me a lot of Matt and the other is the Mexican mother figure of the group older than both of us and last but not least is my B-hut confidant the Whoopi Goldberg look alike. I also think that I have come to prove my self in the unit. The surgeons are letting me put in Arterial lines, the docs are letting me manage the ventilators, the nurses are calling upon me more often and the techs are letting me fill in for recoveries when they are busy. I finally feel useful and since I am becoming more familiar with the staff, I am more comfortable to be myself.

My routine is still the same and it’s still ground hogs day here with the biggest differences being that the weather is starting to warm during day light time. I still go to a Step aerobis/tae bo/ calistenics class three times a week and cardio with weights the other two days. Unfortunately, believe it or not, I am STILL not losing weight as planned just toning up what I do have. ARRRRGGGGG!!! Oh well, I guess toning is better than flab even if it is at the size I am now. (My hubby would actually be happy about that though, so I guess I should be happy too.)

Matt is doing so well with the kids! I couldn’t be a prouder wife and I admire and commend him for taking care of things at home. I know it is hard for him especially with Vicky being at the Drama Queen stage. Marc on the other hand, I’ve been told, has been a tremendous helper and a trooper with only the occasional, “I miss my mommy” breakdowns. If you guys talk to Matt please let him know what a good father and husband he is and how admirable it is that he has taken on such a difficult task.

Well, I better get going. The internet is slow here and I still have to attach and mail this out to my wonderful cousin to post for all of you. Hope everyone is doing well. Hugs and kisses.

Sandy

Thursday, February 21, 2008

Bo Bice from American Idol comes to visit

I missed him but my co-workers sent me pics...
Sandy

Sunday, February 17, 2008

February 17, 2008

Today was somewhat eventfull and busy. I woke up and did the whole Ground Hogs Day movie thing. The weather was misty and cold which means that everything was ice. By this afternoon it warmed up and everything was muddy. This morning I was able to take 3 patients off of ventilators and in the afternoon I responded to two traumas. One was an RPG (Rocket propelled grenade) injury. The patient had two sucking chest wounds and is in critical condition. The other trauma came in towards the end of my shift so I didn’t get much info on him except that he is critical. It was nice to finally get my hands dirty, so to speak. Since the weather is getting better here we will be seeing more and more patients. That’s the Afghan way.

Today I also found out the dates of my departure from here and that before my time of departure I will be going to a FOB. (Forward operating base) to cover for our Army personnel for a bit. I would tell you guys dates but seeing as this is a public site, I can’t because that would be endangering too many lives including my own. I received a box from my honey today with new bed sheets with one of my favorite characters. (Dora the explorer) It’s about the only colorful thing I get in this drab land. He also sent me knew sneakers which I have to admit I don’t want to wear. Not because I don’t like them, because I really do love them but because they seem so white compared to the ones I am currently wearing and the thought of walking in the mud with new sneakers kills me. LOL Well, It seems that I have reached the end of a page so I must end this letter so that you won’t get bored. Hugs and kisses to all and again thanks for all your support!

Sandy

February 16, 2008

So today I had a very interesting conversation with an Afghanistani man. His father is a patient of ours and I saw him sitting in the unit beside his father. Most of our patients need translators to communicate and every time he was approached no translator was in sight. I looked at him closely and noticed tht he was dressed slightly different, he had on jewelry and he spoke fluent English. Later on in the day I began to ask him questions. My curiosity got the better of me. I found out he spoke 6 different languages, he lives in Russia and has lived in places such as the U.K., China, Afghanistan and the US. Apparently this gentleman is a business man whos family lives here. We began talking about his family… his wife, his kids and the culture. It turns out tht his marriage was an arranged marriage, as is the custom here, and he didn’t actually meet his wife until the day he married her. I asked him if after all these years that he has been married, has he fallen in love with his wife and his reply caught me of guard. He told me that he did not believe in love. I then asked him if God/Allah forbid, his wife died tomorrow would he be upset. He replied that he would only be upset because his children would not have a mother. We continued our conversation about the Afghan culture versus American culture. I told him to forgive me for hearing what he had to say but not understanding or maybe even accepting it. He proceeded to tell me that where he lives in Russia he even has a Romanian girlfriend. I asked him if either of his woman were bothered by the fact that he had either one of them and he said that it is an accepted thing in his culture. Oh well, I guess to each his own, right?
Sandy

Thursday, February 14, 2008

February 14, 2008

Just when it seems like the weather is warming up and the snow is melting turning everything to mud it snows again. Luckily for us it hasn’t snowed that much but it’s supposed to go on all night through til tomorrow. Good news is that it keeps the unit slow as far as patient care is concerned. Lately we haven’t had too many bad things happen.

A few days ago we had a trauma come in to the ER. It was an Afghan man who was driving down a road and drove over a mine causing his car to roll and badly injure him. He is doing reasonably ok. The only other patient that I have consistently happens to be the five year old boy I mentioned in a previous e-mail. The little boy is doing much better but it breaks my heart that even though his organs are there and he can breath on his own, his mind is still not all there. We still don’t know if he will make it on a neurological stand point. Why is this bad you may be asking yourself? Well, here’s how afghan culture works… Little boy gets released to his family. There are no rehab centers here to continue his care and we simply don’t have the means to take him for years until he does fully recover. The family sees that he is not worth anything as far as supporting the family with money or labor and so they kill him because it’’s more of a burden on a poor family to care for him than to keep him. I was told today by someone that I work with that if this little person doesn’t get better before we release him, he will be shot the minute he leaves the military compound. That broke my heart!

On a lighter side, things are going better here for me personally. I found a group of girls that are willing to do aerobics/step/tae bo with me three times a week and go to the gym the other days with a day off here and there. Once the weather improves we may even begin to run out doors. The heat in my hut has finally been fixed and I don’t have to wake up seeing my own breath anymore. That for me is a hug accomplishment. (I called to get the fix done) I still have to walk a block to take a shower on a daily basis but if I look on the bright side, at least I get a shower where some of our people out there don’t.

I miss my family terribly! I got packages from Matt and the kids. One of the packages even gave everyone that works with me a good laugh. (Matt sent me a box of toilet paper.) The other ones included Valentines Day gifs from my two beautiful babies and my wonderful hubby. A friend from Colorado also sent me a care package with odds and ends that is very much appreciated. (Thanks Heather!) My Task Force med loves packages so if you are feeling generous, send away. I may not use or need everything that is sent but there are always people here that do.

Well friends and family I will end this entry in the blog now. Thank you all for your love and support! Wish me luck and pray that this deployment is a fast one. I love and pray for you all. Kisses and hugs to all. Oh, and HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY!

Sandy